Start With Yourself book review
Everybody wants to blame somebody else for their problem. “I couldn’t get this. I couldn’t get that.”
No.
Not to say that you are the problem, but you’ve got to start with yourself.
Today, we’re talking about Start With Yourself by Emma Grede. The genre is nonfiction, and I would say the theme is business and economics.
If you’ve been on social media at all since this book was released, you probably know that a lot of people are talking about it. Primarily, they’re talking about some of the things Emma says about parenting and how she spends three hours a day with her kids.
I’m not going to focus on that because it was not one of the most important things I got from the book.
What I will say is this: read the book in its entirety. I thought I knew a lot about Emma Grede. I did not.
I knew she was a founding partner of SKIMS, and I knew she was the co-founder of Good American, but I didn’t know about all the work she did before that.
People say it takes 10 years before you become an overnight success. That’s basically what happened with Emma. She created a company called ITB and spent years working in fashion before she ever started working with the Kardashians, SKIMS, and Good American.
The book was interesting because it debunked a lot of the judgments I had about her. I thought I knew her, and I really didn’t.
The book is split into four big areas: vision, managing emotions, old thoughts, and finally, action.
One of the first things that hit me was when Emma talked about your emotional hygiene.
She talks about growing up with a lot of scarcity mindset, fear, and anger that she had to deal with. Emotional hygiene is about how you’re feeling, how things impact you, and how you carry those things with you.
She also distinguishes between emotions and feelings. An emotion is meant to change. It’s meant to move.
You’re having a great day, then you stub your toe, and suddenly you’re in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
You need to manage that.
Don’t let being frustrated that you stubbed your toe spoil the rest of your day.
“An emotion is something that is meant to change, meant to move.”
By far, the longest part of the book is “old thoughts,” and this was also my favorite part because you get a lot of compare and contrast.
Old thought: Friends and money don’t mix.
New thought: You can make a lot of money, and you don’t have to involve friends.
Old thought: Ask all your friends when they’re having kids so you can have your kids together.
New thought: Manage your body and your life with your partner the way you want to.
These are things that we should know, but Emma is very direct about them. And I appreciated that because I had to teach myself something similar. People used to tell me I was fickle. The truth was, I would agree to do stuff before I had actually considered whether I wanted to do it. Then I’d decide I didn’t want to do it and cancel.
Now I try to say, “Can you give me a beat? Can I sleep on that and let you know?”
Because it’s probably going to be a no. I was just afraid to give them the no.
Emma’s basically saying: Let’s stop doing that. Let’s just be honest from the beginning.
Another thing I really liked was Emma talking about how she has almost never cared about what other people thought. She struggled in school and eventually figured out, “Enough with this. I know I deserve to be here. I know I can outwork all y’all.”
She carried that confidence with her. Confidence grows. It’s not something you’re just born with.
“If I can handle that, I know I can handle the next. I know I can handle the next.”
And she has.
This is definitely a book I would purchase and keep rereading because it feels like a textbook you’ll reference often.
Also, read the whole book, y’all. I’m reading down to the last page. I’m reading to see who her agent is in case I need her.
I read the whole book.
One of my other big takeaways was that you do not have to crowdsource your decisions.
Emma also talks about the trade-offs in life. Work-life balance is something you have to figure out for yourself.
Before I had my child, I was working 70 hours a week. I loved it. My partner at the time was working 70 hours a week. He loved it. It wasn’t until I had a kid that what I wanted changed. There are trade-offs in life, and that doesn’t make you a terrible person. Once you own those trade-offs, trust your decisions, and stop crowdsourcing those decisions, you’ll have a better time in life.
Emma also thinks about her life in chapters. What does she want for the next chapter? What is she doing in this chapter?
That really provoked me because there are worksheets at the beginning of the book where Emma wants you to write down what you want to do right now.
I’m filling them out thinking, “If I want to be that, I have to start now to get there.”
Start now. Get your plan. Even if you need to tweak it, at least you have the plan.
Emma talks about your twenties being hustle, hustle, hustle. Your thirties might be about fine-tuning and understanding the fields and industries where you want to be. Then your forties are when you get to be strategic. You’re still working hard, but it’s strategic hard.
Emma says people are always telling her, “I know you’re so busy. You’re so busy.” And she’s like, “I’m actually not. I just make decisions all day.”
High-level decisions that impact millions of dollars and a huge workforce, but decisions.
If she has the information available to her and understands how that decision will impact people, she can trust herself to make the best decision for that moment.
Listen, you could read this book and not get any of the stuff I just shared because that is how much is in it.
The book is good.
The book is very, very good.
And I’m excited that it exists because it means I can read it again.
Get your copy of Start With Yourself. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Until the next book review,
Kyla
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